More than the family can accept That I'm asexual

Nowadays, many people think that gender diversity is accepted in society. But the situation regarding gender discrimination still reflects a myth that many people still misunderstand. It makes us have to go back and look at what gender diverse people really are. Has it really been accepted...?

Gender Diversity

Khun Note Jessada Taesombat Director of the Transsexual Friends Network Foundation for Human Rights whose family has never accepted their gender. Asked the question: When we know gay people Or a ladyboy A question that many people often encounter is  “...When did you realize that this was like this??...”  Which is true? And there is no fixed answer. Because it depends on who you ask and who you ask, the answer can be both. Born to be from birth until having children and having a wife and then knowing that it is not who you really are

“...People in society often view sexual diversity as people who like the same gender. But in fact, whether men, women, men who love men, women who love women, gay, transvestite, tomboy, and dee are all sexual diversity as well..."

Has the world accepted sexual diversity yet?

“Thailand is a paradise for gender diversity. The world has accepted this.” This is what many people understand. But in reality, there are transgender people, kathoeys, or transsexuals. More than 2,986 people were killed or murdered
(Data from the study of the Transgender Monitoring Project by the European Union of Transgender Persons from 2008 - 2018)

while Thailand has collected data under the same project, it was found that Twenty-one transgender people between the ages of 13 and 53 were killed, the majority of whom were killed. It is...

“Killing because of hate”

Situation of violence, stigmatization, and discrimination among lesbian women. 11% MSM 13% and bisexual or transgender people. 34.8% which if there is continuous and systematic research. The numbers may increase. What is shocking is The number one institution that commits the most violence is the family, followed by Educational institutions and workplaces, respectively (Information from the Foundation for Gender Rights and Fairness)

Ordained to preserve gender

The story of your life. Note has learned the difference from being called a transvestite, a transvestite, or a Taew by friends.“...It made me learn that We behaved differently from other boys. We learned that this is what people call transsexuals. Or a ladyboy..."  This difference makes the family start to have questions, start to wonder. But what the family does is  "Sending to be ordained"

"...entering the temple. Waking up, sleeping, and eating were controlled. But what was found in the temple was A coquettish novice A monk who is coquettish Or what many people call 'Luang Mae' 'Luang Je' makes you know that What we are is not right, so we have to become ordained to correct our karma..."

After leaving the temple, we had to hide our feelings in our hearts. Because I don't want to be sent to the temple again. But there are no secrets in this world. One day, my mother came to help me pack my bags and found a packet of pills without a label. So he thought it was a drug and took it to the pharmacy to inquire. The answer received is Such medicine is  “Female hormone medicine”

See a psychiatrist for treatment

“...Mom, come and talk directly. That being a boy, why do you have to take female hormone pills..."  Khun Notesimple reply. That I wanted to be a woman so I took hormone pills. Therefore, it is the starting point to see a psychiatrist. To find a solution for the family

The first question the doctor asked was:  “...want to go live with Tiffany. Or Alcazar?..."  But in his heart, Noet only wants his family to accept him as he is.  “We”  didn't want to be a showgirl or an actor.

The doctor then drew a straight line on a piece of paper. where the end of the line is zero. The other side is the number ten. Then let Khun Note choose to compare yourself that if 0 is a man, 10 It was a woman. Khun Note answered without hesitation that she was at number 8 and in the future she would go to number 10. That is getting breast surgery and eventually changing gender.

What the doctor recommends is if you are at 0 or cannot be a man. Please stay at number 5. Just gay, just a man who loves men, no need to have long hair. No need to put on makeup. You don't have to express yourself. No need for surgery. To make it easier to succeed in life Even though in my heart I love and like the same gender. But there's no need to reveal who it is.

“...In my heart, I don't believe what the doctor recommended. But we cannot deny the truth. We are not gay Not a gay man But we are transgender women. We are a transvestite..." 

Khun NoteContinuing on with the story, the family is trying to find out the reason for the note being like this. To which the doctor gave an answer that stung the heart:  “...because father cannot be a role. A good model (role model) for your child. So the child imitates the mother's behavior and imbibes femininity instead..."

is constantly being watched

We went to the hospital with hopes to build an understanding with the family. But I walked out of the hospital feeling hopeless...from my once happy home. It turned out to be a house that looked like CCTV cameras were installed all over.

The doctor has recommended a method to bring him back to being the noteworthy child that the family expects. There are two ways: 1. Take them to a clinic that specifically treats gender diverse people. and 2. Use family therapy. Spend more time with family Do more activities together The mother chose this method.

Khun Note was even watched by her mannerisms in eating, walking, and sleeping. She was forbidden to put on makeup. Do not wear women's clothing. and was also forbidden from dating his closest friends which is a transvestite“...We could only cry because we had disappointed our family. make everyone sad But when we look back, the 'Father' who is the Family man is someone who takes care of the family and never fails in providing care. Instead, the doctor accused him of being at fault. How would you feel..."

During that time, living with family was compared to living in hell. But at the same time as having to take the entrance exam. Therefore chose to study at Prince of Songkla University. Pattani Campus To go as far as possible from home Because they don't want to be watched or watched. and choose to take classes every summer break To avoid going home during the school break. This makes it possible to complete a bachelor's degree within three and a half years.

From the beginning, the family was concerned about having a child or family member who was a transvestite or a transgender woman. I'm increasingly worried. Worried about not having a good job Worried that it will be short-lived I'm worried that I won't find true love. Deceived in love These concerns were not explained or resolved based on an understanding of sexual rights issues. Human rights lead to fear

turning point

after graduation Khun Notehas been working on issues of gender rights and justice with a group of people who call themselves  “Katoey”  or  “Ladyboy”  Later on, she founded the Thai Ladyboy Friend Network together with friends and project creators. Creating guidelines for families with bisexual children with support from the sexual health plan The Foundation for Creating Understanding of Women's Health (Women's Health Foundation) is a mentor. Until now it has been registered as ​“Transsexual Friends Network Foundation for Human Rights”

“...We want to develop tools that enable parents to understand their children who are gender diverse. Especially those who are kathoeys or ladyboys. and make them understand their parents more Because after working continuously It makes us think about our own family in the past.”

“...Being a kathoey or a transsexual makes our family face friction. Understand various pressures Whether from relatives, neighbors, people around you, or co-workers who all ask, How to raise children to be of the wrong gender..."

What's wrong with me?

Fear of not wanting your child to be a kathoey or transgender woman causing the need to take children to ordination Take to see a psychiatrist Do not wear any kind of clothing. This action comes from love and goodwill. But there is a lack of knowledge and understanding. Therefore, I would like to give it to families who have questions. I have doubts as to what gender I am. See...

• No need to find out why. Because we can't find the cause
• There's no need to find the fault. No one is at fault in this kind of thing.
• Children and youth are not just girls and boys.
• It is not a mental disorder. It's not karma. It is not a sin from a previous life.

If we understand this point, it will make us more accepting of our family.

“If on that day the note chooses to go to number five or number zero in a stressful situation. Today we probably won't talk. Currently, the note chooses to erase that line from the heart. Because it makes us happier in life. Proud of being bisexual Be more proud of our gender.”

summary

Where are you on the line? If the friend sitting next to you Choose to be at the number three, five, or eight. Will you accept him? If this gender line doesn't exist at all. Can we accept each other? I want everyone to overlook the word gender. and respect equal humanity Don't be ashamed to admit that. “My child is a transvestite.”

Illustrations from the internet
Some information from the academic conference and knowledge exchange forum. Voices that others cannot hear: specific groups of the population Subject: “Family, the Beginning and the Turning Point of Myths” 
by Ms. Note Jesada Taesombat, Director of the Ladyboy Friends Network Foundation for Human Rights.

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